I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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