apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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