Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
