I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
