How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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