Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize