Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
