Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
