Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
