..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
