idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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