four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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