he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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