I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
