I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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