Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
