I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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