I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
foreskin is a definite game changer
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
