it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
