ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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