I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
