Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
