Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
