When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
