I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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