508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
