he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
