my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
