I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
