Sorry, I don't speak sober.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
