You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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