i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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