I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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