its not stalking. its research.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
