I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
