it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
only you would photoshop your dick
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
