some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
