who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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