is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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