yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
