Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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