I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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