U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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