that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
