Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
honey bunches of taint.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
