so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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