My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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