i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize