Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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