How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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