i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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