We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
