I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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