The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
