wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Terrible idea I love it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
