my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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