my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
