blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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