New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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