yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
