THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
